As long-time readers of The Postscript know, I do not delve into politics or current events. You might think this comes from a desire to find common ground with all my readers. You might think I am trying to bridge the divide in a time when there aren’t enough opportunities to examine the myriad of things we have in common. Or you might simply think I am a coward who wishes to avoid controversary.
You would all be wrong. I am simply too ill-informed to say anything intelligent about current events, certainly anything that hasn’t already been said a hundred times before.
But today I am breaking my silence because I have heard some news I feel compelled to comment on. I did my due diligence and found—to my shock and disappointment—this news appears to be true.
There is now a Twelve Step program for lipstick addicts.
Right away, I need to say that I am not disparaging Twelve Step programs. In fact, it’s because I have so much respect for these programs that I find this news distressing. But I decided to research what a Twelve Step program for lipstick might look like because, to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t entirely sure what the Twelve Steps were.
Right away, I knew I was in trouble.
The first step, I learned, was to “admit I was powerless over lipstick.” No debate. I can’t go 90 minutes without lipstick. I put lipstick on during dinner. I put lip balm on in the middle of the night. Just writing this is causing me to pause… (now I’m back) to put on lipstick. Check!
The second and third steps concern God’s role in my lipstick addiction. This is where I started to have some trouble. I’ve got to believe God’s got more pressing concerns than my lipstick use, however excessive, but I forged ahead.
The fourth step asked me to “make a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.”
For this step, I decided to make a searching and fearless inventory of my desk drawers, bathroom cabinet, purses, glove compartment, and bedside table. That’s when I started to think maybe God should get involved after all.
I own more lipstick and lip balm than I ever imagined. I was beginning to give this whole Twelve Step thing more credence.
The next step was to “admit to God, ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” I guess I’m doing that now. Check!
I moved onto the next step, (suspecting that Twelve Step followers would tell me I was rushing things): “Be entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”
I should have known there would be a catch. No one is removing my lipstick.
I skimmed the rest of the steps getting into implementation, then stopped reading to contemplate the full impact of my discovery.
I’ve been wearing lip balm or lipstick or lip gloss since I was thirteen. I put on lipstick before I brush my teeth. If I am lucky enough to celebrate my 100th birthday, before I’m wheeled out to the cake with three numbers on it, I’ll be hollering, “Where’s my lipstick?!”
Lipstick is calming and harmless and… okay, now I really do sound like an addict. My resistance to the whole idea was not because it was inherently ridiculous. It was because I was addicted to lipstick—and I honestly did not care! And, with this revelation, I touched up my lipstick.
Now I also know why I don’t write about current events.
Till next time,
My husband, Peter, and I just spent a couple of days staying with our scientist friends. I’ve honestly never had scientist friends before, so there is a lot to learn. One of our scientist friends, Wolfgang, is responsible for filling the ice cube trays (which is my... [More]
My husband, Peter, is preparing for the End Times. This might not be literally true, but it would certainly appear to be if you checked out the food supplies we have stashed away. Peter hates the fact that packages now contain less than they used to while the price continues... [More]
More than ten years ago, I was living in Africa (Lagos, Nigeria, to be exact). My life was pretty much a shambles, but I refused to return to the U.S. The reason I didn’t want to come back was because I could not for the life of me figure out what had happened. My husband... [More]
I originally joined Facebook when a long-lost cousin sent me an invitation. No one had heard from this cousin in ages when I got a note out of the blue. Facebook was relatively new then and I hadn’t considered joining. But I figured if I could reconnect with family... [More]
I saw him just a moment too late, coming down the path. I wasn’t expecting anyone to come down this section of the trail. No one ever did. At least I never saw anyone, which is why I was messing around with the pine cones. Okay, I better start at the top. The... [More]
My friend, Andrew, will not use a credit card when paying for his groceries. Andrew is a curmudgeon and has been one for years. He lives alone and has been a dear friend for almost all my life. “It’s none of their darned business how much broccoli I’m buying!”... [More]
I scrutinize myself in the mirror on a regular basis. From the front all is well. I am pushing sixty and holding together reasonably well. From the side it’s another story. I have inherited my grandmother’s neck. My chin is on a mission to meet up with my chest,... [More]
I returned to college after I turned fifty. I had been working in business and, for a variety of reasons (reasons that required an entire book to explain!) I was no longer willing or able to continue. After a lot of hemming and hawing, I finally decided I would jump through... [More]
Jonathan Brandon appeared in Wallace County District Court on April 10th, 2019, with his court appointed attorney, Steve Cott, Garden City, for sentencing in cases 17 CR 51 and 17 CR 58. Each case charged Brandon with Distribution of Methamphetamine within 1000 feet of a school,... [More]
Chandler, Garrett Scott, Pueblo, Colo, driving 75 mph in a 65 mph zone, fines $69, court costs $108. Palmier, Joshua Quayshun, Birmingham, Ala, driving 84 mph in a 65 mph zone, fines $99, court costs $108. Chavez, Brenda Icilice, Denver, Colo, driving 85 mph in a 65 mph zone,... [More]
On March 13th, 2019 Charlene Valdez appeared in Wallace County District Court with court appointed attorney Leslie Beims, Goodland in the matter of case number 2017 CR 42. Valdez had been charged with Conspiracy to Distribute Methamphetamine, within 1,000’ of a school,... [More]
Chandler, Garrett Scott, of Pueblo, Colo, cited for driving 79 mph in a 65-mph zone, ordered to pay $65 in fines and $108 in court costs. Palmier, Joshua Quayshun, of Birmingham, Ala, cited for driving 84 mph in a 65-mph zone, ordered to pay $99 in fines and $108 in court... [More]
Destrie Whitaker appeared in Wallace County District Court on January 25, 2019 with attorney Christopher Rohr, Colby, in the matter of case number 2018 TR 282 - count 1 Driving While License Suspended, a level B non-person misdemeanor, date of offense, October 13, 2018. Whitaker... [More]
Miles Ackerman appeared in Wallace County District Court on January 16th, 2019 with attorney Douglas Spencer, Oakley, for sentencing on the charge of Unlawful Distribution of a Controlled Substance (methamphetamine) within 1000’ of a school, a level 1 nonperson drug felony,... [More]
Vakiea Murrill appeared in Wallace County District Court on December 5th, 2018 with attorney Leslie Beims, Goodland. Murrill plead guility to Count 1 Possession of Marijuana and was ordered to pay a $100 fine, $158 in court costs, $160 in fees related to the case, and $770.90... [More]
Foy, Christopher Matthew, Colorado Springs, Colo, driving 78 mph in a 65 mph zone, fined $63 and court costs $108. Mercier, Brittany N, Danforth, Ill, driving 80 mph in a 65 mph zone, fined $75 and court costs $108. Stone, Ralph Lee, Hays, Kans, driving 80 mph in a 65 mph... [More]
May 3rd, Cruisers from across Kansas and Colorado arrived early Saturday morning for the 16th Annual Car and Bike Show. It was a beautiful day, but was cut short with the threat of an approaching rain storm. At 1 pm, the owners moved into the Parish Hall for the results of... [More]
Class of 2019 top row: Kody Lofstrom, Andrew Noone, Champ King, Luke Johnson, Richard Kaiser, and Esteban Rodriguez; middle row: Janaeha Dinkel, Hayley Pierce, Yesenia Juarez, Joshua Daily, Trever Medina, Trevor Fischer, and Chandler Van Allen; bottom row: Gabrielle Hammer, Makayla... [More]
Mrs. Janine Baehler of rural Sharon Springs, Kansas and a member of Goodland Chapter #122 Order of the Eastern Star, will be honored Friday, May 31, 2019 at the Masonic Hall; 519 Center Street in Goodland, Kansas. The reception will start at 7;30 MDT. All friends and family are... [More]
2019 Weskan Graduate, Josie Purvis, signed a letter of intent to play basketball for Sterling College. Josie is the daughter of Eric and Heather Purvis, Weskan.
Golden Rule Days: History and Recollections of 109 Closed Kansas High Schools, is now available to order from Meadowlark Books. Cost is $24.95 (includes tax, shipping, & handling) and may be mailed to Meadowlark Books, PO BOX 333, Emporia, KS 66801 or readers... [More]
Vounteer Firefighters Scott Miller, Chance Rains, and Aaron Wagoner took the fire truck out for a spin with the kindergarten class, an activity that they look foward to every year. Aaron Wagoner demonstrates use of a fire hose to Calvin, son of Beau and Aften Gardner and the... [More]
The Midwest Energy Community Fund benefits charitable, educational and nonprofit organizations in the Midwest Energy service area. The Community Funds are directed to activities that focus on youth, arts, education, libraries, community events or other priorities that fall within... [More]
Ronnie Hill won 1st place in the A Feature race at Sherman County Speedway opening night
To the hundreds of folks who visited the Fort Wallace Museum during this past weekend’s BKRT, we say… Thank you! To our wonderful staff - Tony, Patty Lou, Ramona and Deb, we say…Thank you! To our incredibly hard-working board members, we say…... [More]
Please join us for the Annual Meeting of the Fort Wallace Memorial Association this coming Sunday, April 28 at 6:00 pm MDT at the Museum. Board Elections will be held, as well as a short program by Garvey Historian Deb Goodrich. You must be a board member of the Fort Wallace... [More]
The Annual Meeting of the Fort Wallace Memorial Association will be held on Sunday, April 28 at 6:00 pm MDT at the Museum. At this meeting, annual reports will be given and board members will be elected. You must be a member of the Fort Wallace Memorial Association to vote, but... [More]
The Fort Wallace Museum is very excited to announce a special series of concerts by iconic singer/songwriter Michael Martin Murphey during the Big Kansas Road Trip! On each of the three evenings of Thurs. May 2nd, Friday, May 3rd and Saturday, May 4th, all are invited to “An... [More]
Saturday, March 16th was another great day at the Fort Wallace Museum. We started the morning by unveiling the 38-star Cox flag, a project headed up by textile preservationist Jenny Tracz and funded by the Cox family of Weskan, as well as many other friends in a Facebook campaign.... [More]
There is still time to make plans to join us this weekend for the many activities surrounding our “Trails to Rails” Symposium and Captain Keogh’s Emerald Banquet! We will be enjoying a time of fellowship and fun, as well as furthering the mission of the Fort... [More]
Plans for the big weekend of March 16th-17th are “gathering steam,” as we prepare to recognize the 150th Anniversary of the arrival of the Kansas Pacific Railway in 1869! The Museum is so pleased to add another event to the day’s schedule. At 9 AM, to open... [More]
The next big event is coming up on Saturday, March 16th at the Fort Wallace Museum! This jam-packed weekend will include a major symposium and a fundraiser banquet benefitting the Guardians of the Fort Wallace Museum. We are very excited about this “Trails to Rails”... [More]
©2019 The Western Times. Powered by Pixel Power Haus.